I keep for me
February 24, 2013 § Leave a comment
Adam asked me last night if I still thought about Nic.
I told him that there’s not a day that passes that I don’t think about him at some point. In truth, there’s rarely an hour passes during which I don’t think about him.
Adam also asked me last night to tell him some of the things that act as reminders, what the triggers are that make me think of him. I flatly refused and he got upset with me but this is something I cannot share, something I have to keep for myself. There has to be something sacred which I get to keep, which means something only to me. All the little things that make me smile or cringe or want to cry, I have to keep them just for myself.
I have to try and get some separation and perspective this week. I need to get through a day, or even two or three, without writing, without talking about it with Adam. I have to start letting go before this devours me and destroys my marriage in the process.